Kenny the Irishman

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by TexasRed (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Monday, 17-Apr-2006 21:28:39

Kenny came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinko drunk, as he
often did, and crept into bed beside his wife, who was already asleep.

He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing
a long flowing white robe.

"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Kenny, "and what are you doing in my
bedroom?".

The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter".

Kenny was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to
live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back
straight away".

St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can
only send you back as a dog or a hen." Kenny was devastated, but knowing
there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around
pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this
strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are
you enjoying your first day here?"

"It's not so bad" replies Kenny, "but I have this strange feeling inside
like I'm about to explode".

"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid
an egg before".

"Never" replies Kenny

"Well just relax and let it happen"

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out
from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his
emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first
time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever
happened to him.. ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an
enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting "Kenny,
wake up you drunken bastard, you're shitting the bed".

Post 2 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Monday, 17-Apr-2006 22:03:08

I like it.

Post 3 by Harp (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Tuesday, 18-Apr-2006 5:49:47

got that one in an email recently but it's still amusing. grim to think about but amusing never the less

Post 4 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Tuesday, 18-Apr-2006 12:05:31

lollol.

Post 5 by Musical Ambition (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Tuesday, 18-Apr-2006 12:29:31

Oy, can you imagine having someone do that in your bed? Eeeeu!

Post 6 by fuzzy101 (The master of fuzz!!) on Friday, 16-Jun-2006 19:43:18

All I have to say is Holy Shit.

Post 7 by Jazz_Flute (Generic Zoner) on Friday, 16-Jun-2006 19:55:50

Oh my! That was horrible but really funny too! I couldn't imagine someone doing that for real! Eww. Good joke though.